Laundry trolls love just one thing...laundry. The thicker the layer of laundry, the happier the troll becomes. These trolls smear chocolate ice cream onto clean kids' clothes, eat just one sock of each pair, make the washer overflow, and practice the ancient art of t-shirt cloning all to make a happy home for themselves.
Laundry trolls also feed off of negative emotions towards laundry, and I must admit that I hate doing laundry. I think it goes back to my childhood. In the first house I can remember, the laundry room was an unfinished room full of wolf spiders and bad memories. Like the time Granny spanked me for playing hide-and-seek in the dryer. So uncalled for! The next house was 1908 charmer with a basement laundry room that resembled the Bastille. The crawl space openings on the far wall looked like dark creepy eyes, and the open stairs that descended into the gloom just begged for a goblin to reach out to grab my feet as I made a mad dash for clean undies. And, on top of that cheeriness were the bugs. Big bugs. Big bugs with a bazillion legs. Big bugs with a bazillion legs that just would not die easily like a good bug should. And, on the floor....troll fodder and lots of it.
So, no wonder I have laundry issues. It's genetic. However, this week, we conquered the troll! With teamwork, homemade laundry soap, and a washer and dryer that ran constantly every waking hour, the laundry troll was dismembered limb by limb. Much of the remains were carefully packed into to huge lawn&leaf bags to be taken to a charity drop-off. (But don't worry, the remains were cleaned, neutered, and rendered incapable of creating baby laundry trolls of their own.)
Here is The Boy standing triumphant on the battlefield:
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