I dreamt about walking on the treadmill last night. No glorious dreams of running a marathon or swimming the English channel here. I sunk to an all-time low--I'm dreaming about mundane exercise and in my dream I was so proud of myself for doing it!
After than subconscious nudge, I began thinking about all of my excuses for not losing weight and not exercising. I'm too stressed out. I can't walk outside because I'd have to take the dog and the kids and then I need 2 free hands for Emily. I can't use the treadmill because the kids will try to step on it with me. I can't use the treadmill because I am too tired. I can't use the treadmill because I think the basement is creepy. I can't use the treadmill because I...hmmm, I need to think of some more excuses. I can't diet because I am too stressed out. Food is comforting. I like to eat. I don't want to take the time to plan meals or count points. What all this is really saying is that I lack the confidence to try. I am worried I will fail.
As a Girl Friday, I don't have a choice in many of the tasks I handle daily. The kids need to be cared for, the house needs to be cleaned, I have to take the kids to therapy sessions and doctors' appointments. I don't mind, usually, and I do these things because they must be done, and I have to do them. From this point on, weight loss and caring for me must be done, and I will do it.
My task for this week is to journal all my food through Weight Watchers and to walk every day. I'm not even giving myself a Points limit for food or a time limit for walking. I am just insisting that I do it.
It is going to be a great week!
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