Musing on Homemaking: Loving my husband

I am coming up on my 9th anniversary of homewifery. After almost a decade of managing my home as my primary occupation, what do I have to show for it? At the top of a short list, I am proud to announce that my husband has not had to Febreeze his clothing in a few years.

Apparently, I...don't...get...home management. The growing pile of self-help books, dishes, and laundry is proof of that. I am searching for a magic pill. For home management from an easy-spray applicator. For the perfect template from a successful homemaker that I can make my own with next to no effort on my part.

When I wanted to search the Web or type in my credit card number for yet another book, I was gently directed to the Word instead and to Titus 2--that wonderful chapter on setting our lives and homes in order. Older women are encouraged to be teachers of good things. This includes teaching the younger wives "to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands" (v. 3-5). All of this starts with love.

What is love then? 1 Corinthians 13 explains in detail. Starting with verse 4: "Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in truth, bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails."

To see a picture of love in action, I only have to look to my own husband. He never forgets to thank me for things he should be able to take for granted--clean underwear, a home-cooked meal, a task completed, happy kids. He thanks me for all I do even when there is no dinner prepared, the laundry is piled high, he is tired and still has to hunt for his own meal after a long day at work. He is unfailingly kind to me. He is the antithesis of the nagging, cruel, guilt-driven voice in my head who reminds me constantly that I am nothing and deserve nothing. Sadly, I listen to that voice more than the sweet voice of my husband. I can't believe that someone can love me despite these serious flaws and that just makes me sink deeper into despair and chaos. Rather than using his love and kindness as a lifeline, I have made it a noose. It is time to let go and just...love.

Titus 2--love my husband. I can't be filled with love when I am filled with self-loathing. I am redeemed by Christ, from whom all good things come. Jason and his unfailing love are good things. I am redeemed by grace, made perfect in Christ, loved by my Maker and my husband. My cup runneth over.